Expectations, curiosity, nervousness, dreams .... a bouquet of feelings flooded my heart that day. It was 14 February 2005. Valentine’s Day, a day with a lot of significance for folks around the globe. A number of hearts were going to bloom that day and probably a higher number of hearts were going to break as well. For me, my heart and my life was destined to flourish that day onwards, forever.
The Valentine’s day of 2005 will always be a special day for me and also for my wife. After a courtship of four years, we were getting married that day. That is why those feelings... expectations, curiosity, nervousness, dreams and a lot more unknown ones... flooded my heart. Was my life going to change, forever, with a sense of security of a companion or will I lose my freedom? Will the love we had for each other will flourish or was it born only out of yearning for each other and fade out with time after we were united? Lot of questions arose in my mind and, I’m damn sure, in her mind too.
The Valentine’s Day in 2011 is our sixth marriage anniversary; I call it ‘Valenversary’. As we are completing six years of the journey of the life together, I have not yet found complete answers to those questions which arose in my mind on the day of my wedding. In fact, the complete answers cannot be found as it is a continuing process and our journey is not yet complete. Nevertheless, the answers I have found, to whatever extent, are gratifying enough for my heart.
Yes, there was love born out of yearning for that girl I was engaged with. Probably it was what is called infatuation. That is the feeling, many confuse with love. The bond of marriage provided anchor to that infatuation. In the meanwhile, we got the gift of our marriage, our daughter, who grounded this anchor even more firmly. The bond has actually grown stronger during the journey. The infatuation has converted into love and it has flourished ever after. When? I don’t even know that.
Yes, I have lost some freedom I enjoyed earlier. I have lost the freedom of doing the things which are harmful to me- to behave irrationally, to do whatever I like without considering consequences, to exert “It’s my life” when actually not being in control of it. But, on the other hand, I have got more freedom, the ‘freedom of expression’. I can share anything with wife. I can share the worst of my behaviour without being judged. I can share the worst of my fears with the sense of security that my companion will understand it. This freedom, believe me, it’s priceless.
Thank you my companion. Wish you have a very happy sixth Valenversary.
